I absolutely adore this article on online dating – the author had so many false starts at love, she could not even get a first date with a man whose only dating profile picture was a sandwich. Sister, I feel ya.
As someone who also spent three years at online dating (thankfully ending successfully), I can tell you from the wisdom of perspective that she made the same mistake that I did, and that many of us do – she assumed that the problem was her. She then wasted time second-guessing her actions, and what she did wrong.
Trust me, the problem is rarely, if ever, you. A man posing as a sandwich might seem witty and fun, but he also has (1) serious insecurity, which is why he did not use a real photo and dropped off the face of the earth without actually meeting or (2) just having fun doing his bagel schtick, not actually looking for a relationship. In fact, he might have thought it was all just a game, not thinking that there was a real person on the other side of the online profile he was messaging, who could be hurt.
We are so quick to think that the problem is us, and that the change must therefore come from us. True, there will be times when that is the case – if you are rude to people, take advantage of people, are stingy, etc. But if you have enough empathy for others to self-question and to actively want to change, then probably the problem wasn’t you in the first place.
For the writer of the article, for you, for me, don’t give in to false beliefs and the lie that we aren’t good enough – more likely than not, it truly is them, not you.
Check out the manwich article here!
For my readers, anyone else have a story to tell about interacting with men who posed as a sandwich, or similar crazy stories??
Picture is taken from the article.