I absolutely love this blog post written by the new Boundless editor, Joy Beth. Written with a raw truth, she talks about the difficulties of dating as an overweight Christian woman. How being overweight is both perceived to be the primary reason she’s single and a moral failing:
Love isn’t even given a chance to grow without attraction, and when it seems that godliness is equated with an average BMI, I feel like I’ve lost this game before I even got a chance to play.
Reading her post, I just thought YES!!!!! I can so relate!!! So often in my own dating life, the fact that I wasn’t a size six seemed to be the primary determinant of my singleness. I was smart, I was successful, I was funny, I was kind – if not for my weight, then why wasn’t I finding the right guy?
I also understand her frustration that by all health measurement numbers except weight, she and I are very healthy. Shouldn’t that be the final word? And yet it is not in dating. I watched a guy who I was infatuated with reject me and fill his Facebook feed with pictures of his new girlfriend in a bikini – the lesson I took from it: here was what I needed to be and wasn’t.
Like Joy Beth, I finally came to a point of acceptance about it. I am healthy. I don’t sit around eating bags of chips or cookies or ice cream. I regularly go for walks – I even started a local walking organization. I am proud of who I am. But guess what – I also like beer, and chocolate, and hamburgers, and I hate weight lifting! So yes, I am going to have some extra weight on me. Because I am doing things that I love. I have watched my mom go her whole life on and off diets (she’s now on paleo) and I realized that the diet rollercoaster never stops unless you choose to get off.
Unlike Joy Beth, I am now on the other side of the dating abyss. I found an amazing man who tells me every day that I am beautiful. I feel incredibly lucky because I know that he is rare. I am happy that I did not settle for being with someone who would make me feel insecure or who I would worry was looking at other women’s bodies and comparing mine negatively.
Who you are is so much more important than what you weigh. God does not look at you and see your weight – He sees your heart. It can be tough while you’re single and dating to feel self-acceptance. But the right person is going to be out there and he will see you as you are: beautiful.
Photo credit to Boundless.org.