Modern Ruth: Keri

I am so excited to share with you our latest Modern Ruth Profile, Keri!  Look at her sweet picture with her fiance!  Check out her story below and then go check out her blog at www.littlelightonahill.com!

Josh&Keri

Age At Marriage    

29 (5 months shy of 30!)

Tell me a little about the journey from meeting to marriage, starting with how you met!

Josh and I had met at the church we both go to but at the time I was in a relationship with someone else. While we knew each other we didn’t really know each other well or hang out. After my breakup Josh and I got closer because he was really good friends with my brother-in-law. Coming out of a very serious relationship I was not in the mindset of wanting another relationship. I had been praying that whoever came next would be “the one” and would have to work their tushy off for me! We continued to get closer and closer and one day I realized that I was starting to have feeling for him. However, I am stubborn and had my heart broken so I wasn’t in a place where I could be vulnerable enough to tell him. Long story short, after a few months of hanging out and getting to know each other he told me that he had feelings for me but was only interested if this was something I could see being serious. He wasn’t interested in “dating around”. After a year of dating Josh asked me to be his wife and we get married in a month!

What was your biggest struggle as a single person, and what helped you overcome it?

The thing that I struggled with most was the pure fact that ALL my friends my age were married with at least one kiddo. I saw my friends (and then their younger siblings) get married and start their lives with their loves and I was still single. I thought that maybe something was wrong with me or that I was undesirable. Once I learned to turn to God for comfort, I found that I am already whole in Him. I already have everything I need in Him. It was only when I started putting my identity in my Savior rather than my relationship status that I began to love who I was without a man by my side.

What were the top five qualities that you were looking for in a husband? Now that you are married, do you still think that those are the most important qualities to find in a mate?

There was a time I could’ve given you a whole list of “must have’s” for my future man. I legit had like 20! Is this just me or does every girl do this?? But after my last breakup I realized that all I wanted was a Godly man who would fight for me. Someone who would be willing to break through the walls I had put up and would put Christ first above all else. I think that this is one of the reasons why Josh and I have worked. We have both put God first and are intentional about digging deeper into each other’s needs and wants.

How did you know he was the right man to marry?

I don’t know that there was a particular moment in time that I could say was THE moment I knew. But as we began to do life together I began to rely on him for advice and comfort. He is the person that could make me feel beautiful when I feel gross, the person who calms me down when I am mad, who comforts me when I am sad. He corrects me with love when I am actin-a-fool and always points me towards Christ. It was when I realized that he was my “home” that I knew he was the one God had for me.

Looking back, what did God develop in you during your time of singleness that has blessed you in marriage?

The thing that has blessed me the most was when I learned to put my identity in Christ. My whole identity, not just “I’m a Christian” but knowing that I am God’s child. Knowing that He is sovereign and learning to be content in every place He had me in life. Once I learned that I let go of the passionate desire to be with someone and just focused on serving Him. I think this carries out into marriage so well. Our husbands, parents, friends, jobs, will disappoint us at some point or another. If we know who we are in Him then it’s easier to forgive and love them through that tough season!

What advice would you give to ladies who are single later in life?

I believe that marriage may not be what God has in store for every single woman. For a long time I came to accept that marriage not be His will for my life. With that being said, whether marriage is in God’s plan for you or not, know that it is not God’s ONLY plan for you. You are a woman of God. You are a friend, sister, daughter, employee, and a servant of the Almighty. What can you do TODAY to be used by God? How are you using the roles God has entrusted you with right now to better His kingdom? It’s when we focus all our attention on Him that we can best be used by Him. So, whether you know in the depths of your soul that God has marriage in His plan for you or you are unsure and are praying about it, know that He WILL use you regardless of your relationship status. The only thing you have to do is obey His word and be content with where He has you right now and He will do the rest.

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4 thoughts on “Modern Ruth: Keri

  1. It’s hard for me to read this interview because it somehow doesn’t ring true to me. The young lady that was interviewed had been ” in a very serious relationship” so the question that was asked about “what did God develop in you during your time of singleness that has blessed you in marriage?” seemed kind of irrelevant. Why? Because technically this gal wasn’t “single”- she was using her time to get to know a guy..there didn’t seem to be any specific preparations mentioned that this “single” girl did to serve God nor did it seem like there was any reprieve between the time this girl was in her first relationship into her second relationship…I’m not trying to be muleheaded here- this is just what it appears to me- having never been in a relationship at all and “single” in every sense of the word. It would be great to hear interviews with women who truly ARE focused on Christ and not just their relationship status..

    • Hi Jessica! Thanks for your honest comment! I don’t want to speak for Keri, but my perception is that she was single throughout her 20s, even if she was in a serious relationship before meeting her soon-to-be-husband. I also think that she was focused on Christ and serving others; my opinion is that women in general can be focused on Christ and not their relationship status even if they are in relationships. I totally hear what you’re saying – I myself had no real longterm relationships prior to meeting my fiance at 32 and it is a different kind of singleness than those who have had someone by their side. But I also think that women can go from one relationship to the next, never finding God’s match for them, and be just as heartsick, just as discouraged, and just as needing others’ love as those who are not in relationships. We all have a story to share, right?? My hope is that this blog will be encouraging to women of all backgrounds and all life stories!

    • Hi Jessica! Thanks so much for reading and I’m so sorry that you misinterpreted a part of my story. I understand how things could get mixed up! My life story cannot be told in whole with only a few short paragraphs so I would love to clarify some things for you. Know that these interviews are about 800 words of someone’s 30-year journey. Yes, I was in a relationship before. However, I didn’t discuss any sort of timeline of when Josh and I started to date after my break up. Once he and I did start “taking” it was then only a few months that we started dating. BUT there was a whole lot of time between my break up and us dating. Let me assure you I have been single in my adult life (and young life actually) more than I’ve been in relationships. I think that maybe condensing a couple years of my life into one short post may have portrayed the wrong timeline and I’m sorry for that. There was absolutely a reprieve between one relationship and another. And before the first relationship that was mentioned, I was single about 4 years after dating someone in the early years of college. Most of my life I have been single. I didn’t date anyone in high school nor did I have the desire to.

      I don’t think it’s fair to say that if someone is in a relationship they aren’t focused on God. I think we should always be focused on God no matter what. As I stated in my interview, I have NEVER been one to need a boyfriend. I have NEVER been focused on my relationship status. While my friends were dating guy after guy, I stayed single until I felt it was someone I could end up with. I urge you to really pray about judgement of other women when all we really know is one short article about their journey. Like Joanna said, every woman’s story will be different, every story of singleness will be different. God has wrecked my life in the past four years and has truly changed my heart from what it was. Know that this girl truly IS focused on Christ. I pray that this long-winded explanation brought some more insight to where I was coming from in my answers. I pray that this blog can be a source of encouragement for you and so many others! I know I have been blessed by it even in the short time I have read it!

      Please know that encouraging other women is so vital to our Christian communities! Feel free to email me with anything you might still have questions about. I seriously would love to chat with you some more if you’re up for it and absolutely invite anyone with questions about my journey or anything else to contact me anytime! 🙂 underwood_keri@yahoo.com

  2. Pingback: An Interview With: Modern Ruth Project - Little Light on a Hill

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