I am so excited to share with you our latest Modern Ruth Profile, Keri! Look at her sweet picture with her fiance! Check out her story below and then go check out her blog at www.littlelightonahill.com!
Age At Marriage
29 (5 months shy of 30!)
Tell me a little about the journey from meeting to marriage, starting with how you met!
Josh and I had met at the church we both go to but at the time I was in a relationship with someone else. While we knew each other we didn’t really know each other well or hang out. After my breakup Josh and I got closer because he was really good friends with my brother-in-law. Coming out of a very serious relationship I was not in the mindset of wanting another relationship. I had been praying that whoever came next would be “the one” and would have to work their tushy off for me! We continued to get closer and closer and one day I realized that I was starting to have feeling for him. However, I am stubborn and had my heart broken so I wasn’t in a place where I could be vulnerable enough to tell him. Long story short, after a few months of hanging out and getting to know each other he told me that he had feelings for me but was only interested if this was something I could see being serious. He wasn’t interested in “dating around”. After a year of dating Josh asked me to be his wife and we get married in a month!
What was your biggest struggle as a single person, and what helped you overcome it?
The thing that I struggled with most was the pure fact that ALL my friends my age were married with at least one kiddo. I saw my friends (and then their younger siblings) get married and start their lives with their loves and I was still single. I thought that maybe something was wrong with me or that I was undesirable. Once I learned to turn to God for comfort, I found that I am already whole in Him. I already have everything I need in Him. It was only when I started putting my identity in my Savior rather than my relationship status that I began to love who I was without a man by my side.
What were the top five qualities that you were looking for in a husband? Now that you are married, do you still think that those are the most important qualities to find in a mate?
There was a time I could’ve given you a whole list of “must have’s” for my future man. I legit had like 20! Is this just me or does every girl do this?? But after my last breakup I realized that all I wanted was a Godly man who would fight for me. Someone who would be willing to break through the walls I had put up and would put Christ first above all else. I think that this is one of the reasons why Josh and I have worked. We have both put God first and are intentional about digging deeper into each other’s needs and wants.
How did you know he was the right man to marry?
I don’t know that there was a particular moment in time that I could say was THE moment I knew. But as we began to do life together I began to rely on him for advice and comfort. He is the person that could make me feel beautiful when I feel gross, the person who calms me down when I am mad, who comforts me when I am sad. He corrects me with love when I am actin-a-fool and always points me towards Christ. It was when I realized that he was my “home” that I knew he was the one God had for me.
Looking back, what did God develop in you during your time of singleness that has blessed you in marriage?
The thing that has blessed me the most was when I learned to put my identity in Christ. My whole identity, not just “I’m a Christian” but knowing that I am God’s child. Knowing that He is sovereign and learning to be content in every place He had me in life. Once I learned that I let go of the passionate desire to be with someone and just focused on serving Him. I think this carries out into marriage so well. Our husbands, parents, friends, jobs, will disappoint us at some point or another. If we know who we are in Him then it’s easier to forgive and love them through that tough season!
What advice would you give to ladies who are single later in life?
I believe that marriage may not be what God has in store for every single woman. For a long time I came to accept that marriage not be His will for my life. With that being said, whether marriage is in God’s plan for you or not, know that it is not God’s ONLY plan for you. You are a woman of God. You are a friend, sister, daughter, employee, and a servant of the Almighty. What can you do TODAY to be used by God? How are you using the roles God has entrusted you with right now to better His kingdom? It’s when we focus all our attention on Him that we can best be used by Him. So, whether you know in the depths of your soul that God has marriage in His plan for you or you are unsure and are praying about it, know that He WILL use you regardless of your relationship status. The only thing you have to do is obey His word and be content with where He has you right now and He will do the rest.