It’s Not All About Looks

Death_to_stock_photography_Vibrant (4 of 10

I think every woman goes through moments where she feels unpretty.

I remember one of my own moments at age 14.  I would mentally pick myself apart while looking in the bathroom mirror.

My skin was too dark.  My hair was too short.  My eyes were too small.  And collectively, I had decided these were the reasons why I was not pretty and hence, why I had no boyfriend.

I concluded it was all about looks.

After all, the gorgeous girl always gets the guy, right?

Look at Samson and Delilah. (Judges 16) Pictorially, Delilah is always illustrated as a knockout. There is one drawing I remember from my childhood book of Bible stories. Shiny ebony locks cascaded down her shoulders. She had pouty red lips and kohl rimmed eyelids.  Delilah wore a dreamy expression as she looked at Samson, who seemed to be completely charmed by this woman.

But some time ago, someone posed this thought to me:

Whoever said that Delilah was beautiful?

Delilah’s appearance isn’t spoken of anywhere in the Bible.  Her most notable feature is her ability to extract the secret of Samson’s strength.  And how was she able to do it?  She provided a place of solace and comfort, a place for him to lay his head.


Samson, after a day of leading Israel and fighting their enemies, recovers and rests in Delilah’s arms and lap.  She gently massages his scalp and smooths his curls around her index finger while cooing soft words of comfort and peace.

We can glean something from this (of course, minus Delilah’s terrible motive and betrayals.

It is tragically easy for women to dislike how we look, to assign blame and rejection to our mirror reflections.  But the truth is Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

We are a wonderful work.  Completely wonderful.  That goes for the inside and out.

I had always envisioned Delilah as this ridiculously gorgeous vixen.

But the idea that it was not her supposed beauty but her disposition and her personality that was so captivating that it made the world’s strongest man give up his might?  Incredible.

It’s not all about looks.

How have insecurities about appearances challenged your dating life?

Photo credit to Death to the Stock Photo.

JenniferJennifer Richardson
Hi, there! My name is Jennifer. I’m 31 and live in the D.C. area. I love Jesus, R & B music, and sugar in all its forms :-). In June 2016, I married my amazing husband, Calvin. I was completely single and waiting throughout my entire twenties. So I know the prayers, fears, and tears that come with prolonged singleness very well. I am excited to share my story and encourage single women who are waiting for God’s best!

3 thoughts on “It’s Not All About Looks

  1. At 34 years old l’ve never been properly pursued by a guy. I always thought it was because I wasn’t attractive enough to be pursued. My insecurities about my appearance came from my junior high and high school years. Guys weren’t very kind to me when it came to looks. Recently God has shown me that levels of attractiveness has nothing to do with why I’ve been “very” single all 34 years. It’s protection, timing, healing from past hurts, and making sure I’m mature enough to handle a relationship.

    • I agree with Jennifer – thanks so much for sharing, Janelle, sounds like you’ve gotten some great words of comfort from the Lord! I pray all of us can have your perspective to see through Satan’s lies to God’s truth!

      I was planning to separately respond to Jennifer’s post myself – as I have been open about on this site, I really struggled with insecurity during my own dating experience (or lack thereof). I felt that my weight had to be the reason why no guy wanted to pursue me. I still feel that our society places a high value on female beauty that is often difficult to meet. But I was lucky to meet a man who is so amazing, caring, and just plain good that he saw through to my heart. Even just tonight I was telling him how I feel so unhealthy and overweight (due to emotional eating from several months of stress) and he said, “I hear what you’re saying but I want you to know that I love you just as you are.” For anyone out there, know that these men do exist and have faith that the right man is out there!!!

  2. Hi, Janelle!

    Thanks so much for sharing! Yes, the preadolescent and adolescent years can be incredibly damaging to self-esteem. I’m so glad the Lord has healed your perspective and reminded you of His timing and sovereignty. Continue to abide in that truth. Be blessed!

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