Age at Marriage 33
Tell me a little about the journey from meeting to marriage, starting with how you met!
I met my husband about 29 years ago at my neigh our’s house. Judith, a student from the Good News Club asked me to plea to her mother for permission to allow her to go out on a trip with the club. She was a young convert so I wanted her to experience the novelty of a Christian fellowship. I took on the task and I think I was handsomely rewarded. I vividly remember our meeting. I went to the Williams in the morning where the family members were all relaxing in the living room. “Good morning,” I said and all answered. Then Mrs. Williams smiled at me “Kay meet Matt” and l followed her eyes to the face of a stranger. “Nice to meet you,” I responded. Then I turned to Mrs. Williams, “Is he a Christian?” She did not answer but kept her smile.
What was your biggest struggle as a single person, and what helped you overcome it?
One of my struggles was to feel comfortable in groups when all around was couples. They seemed to be all around wearing similar t-shirts, holding hands and sharing their views. A feeling of ‘less than’ sometimes comes over me. This cause me to question God as when will I find love? I overcame by my continuous involvement in youth activities. I went to Youth for Christ and tried to socialize with others. I learnt about sublimation that is, channeling your energy in to meaningful activities. I also prayed a lot and became involved in a great hobby of photography. As my biological clock ticked, my need for companionship returned so started to pray for earnestly. I even reached out to a counselor who shared with me her experiences in meeting her husband. Here I was encouraged and I encouraged myself in the Lord because I know He will provide in His season.
What were the top five qualities that you were looking for in a husband? Now that you are married, do you still think that those are the most important qualities to find in a mate?
Here are five qualities that I had on my list. He must have a relationship with Jesus Christ, (A born again Christian) loving God Almighty. He must love me for who I am, he should be a man of the soil, must be honest and independent. I certainly think these qualities are important as we are able share wholeheartedly and do tasks that bring out the best in us individually as well as couple. For example, when we got married I was in the education system and he was in the administrative business world, but we were able to appreciate the demands of our work, going to the many meetings and staying the long hours. I felt comfortable that he would not cheat on me despite the many influences that would come around. Another example can be seen in how he loves the Lord. I enjoy when he presents me to the Lord. I feel special and beautiful. As the King in the home I find his love for the soil amazing. All the fruit trees, flowers and some ground provisions are planted by my husband and we are able enjoy the many provisions and I feel blessed for this. Another example and I think this is key; loving me for who I am has enabled me to grow, and get to know him better. He is my teacher, my friend and my husband and this cause him to share with me unreservedly. There is no doubt that these qualities foundation to happy living. As a woman, I can have my girl time. I do not have any fear of running to care for him because he cannot do this for himself so I believe these qualities are key.
How did you know he was the right man to marry?
I saw him as the man God had for me because he had all the qualities that I wanted. He led the way in the relationship, and he saw he me as special, according to his letters. It is now 29 happy years and I am enjoying every moment of it.
Looking back, what did God develop in you during your time of singleness that has blessed you in marriage?
During my singleness God allowed me to learn to depend on Him, through prayers and reading the word. I also did many academic and leisure courses that helped me to be productive in marriage.
What advice would you give to ladies who are single later in life?
My advice is to have a total reliance on God. Also learn skills that will empower you and in the process meet persons. Empower themselves by doing courses which allows for meeting persons. They also should be totally depend on God. In other word look at God’s blueprint as found in Genesis chapter 24.
Thank you, Marlene, for sharing your story!!