I don’t know where I’ve been but apparently Joshua Harris has been openly discussing that, shocker, he might not have been completely right in his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Check out this article on Slate.
Like many evangelical Christians, I read and loved this book. My girlfriends and I loved the concept of “courting” rather than dating (sounds so much more romantic, doesn’t it??). We longed for a guy who had not dated every girl on the block but who had reserved his heart completely for us, just as we were reserving our hearts for him.
Only guess what – life doesn’t really work like that. Maybe back in the day it worked when options were limited and everyone just paired up with people in their village to be married by their late teens. These days, though, people have a lot more expectations for marriage and they want to marry someone who’s not just convenient but who’s actually right with mutual interests, shared values, common goals, a strong work ethic, etc. And my opinion is that you only get to know some of those things by dating them!
And of course, it assumes you will just run into the person you are meant to be with. As you know from my story, this would not have happened for me. After college, the number of people who asked me out after meeting me in the regular world could be counted on two hands. None of them were right. If I hadn’t actively pursued online dating, I would still be single now!
As you can probably guess from reading any of my posts, I’m much more of a fan of Henry Cloud’s How To Get a Date Worth Keeping, which instead prescribes going on many dates and getting to know as many people as possible. It may not be as romantic as Joshua Harris’ book, but it is far more realistic.
But that’s just my opinion! How about you? Any of you have a different take on the book?