Proverbs 2

truth-sign

Proverbs 2:12– Wisdom will save you from evil people, from those whose words are twisted.

Sometimes, those with the best of intentions can dispense the worst of advice.

A few years ago, one of my coworkers was deep in the sweet bliss that comes with a new relationship. She was happy and like any friend in love, she wanted me to be happy too. And she thought my happiness was to be found in a date with her boyfriend’s coworker, who was an unbeliever.

When I gently turned her down, she gave me some baffling input.

“You’re being judgmental. This is why women are bitter. They want to have these men who have relationships with God but don’t give a fighting chance to these good men who don’t.”  She spat out her arguments like flat soda, always circling back to one thing:  Settle for deleting God from your requirements or suffer the consequences.

I grew quiet as I thought about her reaction. Was I being too quick to dismiss?  It’s just a date, right?  I want a man who loves God but maybe that is asking too much?  Maybe this is what I have to do in order to be married?

I chewed on her words. Let them sit on my tongue. And finally decided to swallow them.

But they wouldn’t go down.

It felt like I was trying to eat a pair of socks. Or drink a tall glass of sand. My throat felt clogged as it moved up and down to digest the inedible. But the jagged and bloated nuggets formed a twisted mass that stuck in my throat, unable to be accepted by my body.

Finally, I threw them up and threw it away.

I realized that it was the Holy Spirit Who prevented me from absorbing those statements.  Despite my friend’s good intent, her speech was bad, void of God’s will and character. Wanting a husband who loves God isn’t asking too much. In fact, according to Scripture, it’s asking the perfect amount. And no matter how long the wait or what anyone says, it is not worth compromising.

Extended singleness can invite all sorts of unsolicited words of advice. It’s wise to seek God before trying to digest any twisted ones.

Join the conversation!  Have you experienced times when friends have given you bad advice contrary to the Holy Spirit or share what struck you from Proverbs 2!

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Jennifer Jennifer Richardson

Hi, there! My name is Jennifer. I’m 31 and live in the D.C. area. I love Jesus, R & B music, and sugar in all its forms:-)In June 2016, I married my amazing husband, Calvin. I was completely single and waiting throughout my entire twenties. So I know the prayers, fears, and tears that come with prolonged singleness very well. I am excited to share my story and encourage single women who are waiting for God’s best!

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7 thoughts on “Proverbs 2

  1. I have definitely faced Jennifer’s predicament – only it wasn’t the advice of a friend, it was my own!! When you feel like you’re forever dating and getting nowhere, you can talk yourself into lowering standards because, hey, you want to be married, right?? But that is not the right way forward, according to God.

    From Proverbs 2, what struck me were the actions. The chapter tells us to turn our ears to wisdom and to apply our hearts to understanding. And in response, it tells us that the Lord will provide wisdom. Wisdom generally does not just come to us out of the air. We must seek it out – through the Word, through the church, through prayer. And in return, God will provide. It may not happen right away or in the way that we were expecting, but God will give us the wisdom that we are seeking.

    • I have found myself doing the same! Trying to justify dating an unbeliever is really about how much you trust God in bringing you a Believer as a husband. We can try and date missionary style and bring them to Jesus, but then it sets us as the spiritual leader in the relationship and we become the one who pushes for any growth together. Dating non-believers in the past, it is now something I won’t do again. I find that I cry more in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as I do then if I am alone and happy living my life. So my goal is to wait with contentment and find joy in every day of my singleness until the right kind of guy comes along 🙂

      • There is something I told a younger single friend when we talked (during a hiking trip) about the topic of marriage. We have a mutual frined who seems very happy in her marriage with an unbelieving guy (great person, really). When you are married and one Sunday you’d rather stay in bed than go to church the unbelieving husband is going to say “then don’t”. It would be his best judgement and an attempt to genuinely help you. I don’t think it is conductive to our prayel and faith life. 😉

    • I love that, Joanna! “Wisdom doesn’t just come to us out of the air.” We don’t just gain it by osmosis. It takes effort, study, and diligence. And wisdom is always a prayer that God answers generously.

    • I think we (women single later in life) are bombarded with statements like that. That wanting a christian (practising, not just baptized at some point) is being judgemental.ad unfair.I turned down some relationships solely because our beliefs differed too much. And I think that’s the only specific quality that we are shown in the bible to seek in our potential mate – to be equally yoked spiritually in marriage. The rest is just “good, trystworthy” and so on which are pretty wide definitions. I’ve also heard that my uneasiness about unbelieving fiances of my friends (who sre religius) is just being mean and stuffy. It’s probably a daily bred for all of us, Ruths 🙂

      Wisdom saves us many times, but we must be willing to adhere to it. God gives it in aboundance but we have to seek it and use it. Otherwise it’s just not going to help us.

      • Hey, Ania 🙂 You’re right; we actually have to _use_ the wisdom He gives. It’s so tempting to let it fall by the wayside when it conflicts with the procurement of what we want. But it’s for our protection like in verse 11:”Discretion will protect you,and understanding will guard you.”

  2. Wow! so true. This also shouts out to me, To stand on God’s word! We can’t go wrong with God’s truth. Holy spirit will always give us those red flags, that say, “no, wrong turn.” And he will definitely press on us to say what needs to be said! You stood your ground. Your friend will love you for that. I am also growing in Wisdom, thank you for your post sister

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