I was sitting at home, casually perusing through Facebook when I noticed a pattern on my feed. All of my friends were posting photos of their date nights, snaps with their husbands for a night on the town, and those strange mirror selfies while getting dressed up for dinner.
My first thought was “Seriously? Why are all of these people going out on a weeknight? Ugh! Don’t they have to work tomorrow? It’s after 9:00 for goodness sake!”
Me second thought after realizing it was Friday, and therefore perfectly acceptable to do such things past 9:00pm was “Wow. You’re getting old. You should get out more.” This thought was quickly forgotten as it was almost my bedtime.
My third thought? Fear. Absolute fear. About what, you ask? I’ll let you take a guess. Better yet, maybe you can just answer yourself. When it comes to your singleness, what’s the biggest fear that you have? The biggest fear that most of us have?
That we’ll die alone, never having known the pursuit of a godly man. Or even just a sane man with good credit, a solid career, and all of his teeth.
Either way, a lot of us walk around with holy smiles on our face. Pretending as if we’re content in our single life, when inside we are absolutely petrified. We quote scriptures about guarding our hearts, tell our married friends and family that we’re patiently waiting on our Boaz, while our hearts are screaming with jealousy and trepidation.
We are overcome with doubt that the desires of our hearts will never be met. That we’ll be that old cat lady instead of the woman growing old with the man of her prayers and dreams.
And I have to admit, I sometimes get caught up in the allure of fear. See, that’s the thing that people don’t tell you about fear. As much as some claim that fear is some evil, dreadful place to wallow, it is so incredibly comfortable and attractive to stay there. I mean, isn’t it much easier to live in fear and manipulate your way to ‘happiness’ than to allow God to bring his promises full circle in His time?
But when we live in fear, we know what to expect – nothing (Proverbs 10:28). There are no promises, no increase, no surprises, no change. We get exactly what we feared in the first place.
When we live in the hope of God’s will, however, that’s where things can get tricky. When we stand on the promises of God, we should expect the unexpected. In fact, we should expect that we’ll never know what to expect. Except that He can make the impossible possible, even for old ladies like me who go to bed before 10:00pm most nights.
And choosing to believe His will more than our own is not easy or even permanent. It is a day to day, and sometimes moment to moment decision to trust that what He has for us is infinitely better than anything we could manufacture on our own.
So the next time you’re scrolling through Facebook on a Friday night, or resorting once again to a solitary night of Netflix ’n’ Chill, just remember to keep smiling and practice being content when fear threatens to darken your joy. Guard your hearts and keep speaking the promises of His word over your life. And keep telling your family and friends that, yes, you’re still patiently waiting because our God is always faithful.
After all, you are what you fear. So will you fear Him or the monotonous makings of your own imagination?
Join the conversation! What is your response or what else struck you from Proverbs 10?
Hey there! My name is Roz. I’m a full time working, single, homeschooling mother to the world’s funniest 5 year old on the planet. I’m an introvert who is obsessed with bacon. I like to play music extremely loudly in my car and will keep singing at full voice even when you turn to stare. I also blog occasionally over at beautyfullyflawed.com where I write words about Jesus, homeschooling, and the beauty of imperfections. I look forward to sharing my imperfections with you, as well.