Proverbs 14

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Proverbs 14,30 : “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” NIV

As I’m approaching 30 (which is really scary that in less than a year my life would have spanned three decades), I can measure my life, and my single years, in decades. I started to do some inventory of my life. This included of course one of the most frustrating part of this season – lack of a ring on my finger. I must confess, I’m pretty contrary in my approach to this fact.

First, I would really (and I mean really really) like to be married. I have a problem with the fact I’m single and never dated and I have tons of insecurities about it. First and foremost – if nobody ever was interested in me in a romantic way then there is high probability that no one ever will. And that is depressing. “Whyever would you make me this way with this desire if me being this way is against fulfilling this desire?” I asked the Lord this question many times.

On the other hand, I feel really close to the Maker and His Son. I go to them with everything and I love to lay my tears at their laps. The combination of the two mindsets makes me a little weird, doesn’t it? πŸ™‚ The first is surely based on envy in some part – you can see how it disrupts my relationship with the Lord.

Pinballing between my grief in being single, being constantly rejected and going to God with my sorrows I understood one day, that it is true – I MAY NEVER GET MARRIED. And you know what? It influenced my life in a profound way. Maybe there was really nothing to wait for. Maybe this was it – my single life may be all there is in the future.

Then came the decision – to live life fully now, without waiting for some grand event to start living. This meant revising my dreams and starting to realize them right now.

So I started writing and some other things. The thing is – our desire for marriage makes us discontented and envious of others that had what we long for. Also hateful towards the life we life now. As soon as I started to fight with that, my life regained colors.

Life is precious at any time. We were given life to live it. Love God, love other people to give them as much God’s love as we can. And to be happy as much as we can.

Don’t let your singleness be just a time of waiting and envy, that, as the Proverbs author reminds us. Let God help you find peace in the middle of your hard single reality – HE CAN. Then hold onto this peace, which will give you a chance to live this life to the fullest.

Join the conversation! Β Can you empathize with the above or what struck you from Proverbs 14?

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annaΒ Anna

Hello everyone! I am an almost 30yo single woman living in Europe. Professionally a civil engineer, off hours I live to write and sleep πŸ˜‰ . After struggling a lot with my singleness I try to live the fullest live that God gives me. Medieval reenactment is also a part of my life so I consider my life filled by the Lord to the brim.

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6 thoughts on “Proverbs 14

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your heart, Anna!! I appreciate your honesty and your vulnerability! I think what you have shared is right at the center of the hearts of many single Christian women! I know I personally was right in your shoes – up through my 32nd birthday, after which I met my husband! I also appreciate that you have found a way to move past the negative and to live a fulfilling, God-filled life! We are right with you, sister!

  2. Very sorry for all the grammar and spelling mistakes that I see now. I was sure I got rid of them before sending…

    Also, I think finding joy in life is not an event but an ongoing process, that we need to fight to happen each and every say. Just like every other positive thing – it’s not gonna come to us by itself πŸ˜‰ I hope you all can find it today πŸ™‚

  3. I love this message and this truth! I didn’t feel Gods true joy until I really just decided to be content with where God had me in life. I think longing for things is okay, but you’re so right when you say we must not let that stop us from living in the midst of His joy!

  4. Thanks heaps xx for sharing Anna ! Really appreciate the authenticity of you sharing. Extended singleness is not easy, but yes, He is faithful xx

  5. YES!! Completely agree with everything you have written, and I have been having the exact same insecurities you speak about. Constant rejection is so incredibly hard, but I’m hoping that it’s leading me closer to the right man!

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