What is desired in a man is steadfast love, and a poor man is better than a liar – Proverbs 19:22 (ESV)
When I first saw my now-husband, Pat, it was that fairy tale moment. He approached me, handsome and confident, with a giant bouquet of roses. He took my hands, looked deeply into my eyes and said, “You are the woman I am going to marry.” I fell in love in an instant.
Just kidding! It didn’t happen like that at all. Pat showed up late because we had had a miscommunication about where to meet. He was out of breath and rushed. He barely said hello before hurriedly buying tickets to the event. And when it was all done, I sent my best friend a text that said something to the tune of, “Meh. Maybe.”
No heavens opening, no doves descending, no word from above that this was the right one.
But what happened after that was its own sign. Pat pursued me. He texted me multiple times a day, he played no games, and he constantly complimented me. Unlike other guys, whom I would see once a week on average, Pat wanted to see me every other day. It was obvious that he was into me and I never had to doubt him or wonder about his motives.
Two months after I met Pat, I started running a community program that I had been planning for months. Pat showed up for every session. When no one else showed up and the program felt like a failure, Pat was there.
When I was sick, Pat dropped off soup. When I was upset and crying, Pat was my immediate shoulder to cry on. Pat was consistently always there for me. He demonstrated his steadfast love and that, more than anything, was the sign that showed me he was the right one.
But what do we focus on instead? The traditional “wisdom” is that men focus on looks and women focus on money. Men who demonstrate steadfast love are the “nice guys” who don’t get the girl and the women are considered “not a challenge” to incite the thrill of the chase.
Yet as is so often the case, the Bible tells us that our priorities are messed up. Being rich is not the best thing to look for – someone who is truthful is. And what’s more, you could say that being true of heart – i.e. steadfast love – is the absolute best.
Join the conversation! Has this spoken to you? What struck you from Proverbs 19?
Photo credit to Christina Jane Photography (yes, that’s my wedding picture!!).