“A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand” – Proverbs 27:15-16
The first thought that went through my mind in response to the above verses was that it is unfair and harsh towards the ladies. However I took time to reflect – in honor of God’s words, why was it addressed to women? In a book called The Female Brain published by the University of California claimed that women speak about 20,000 words per day nearly three times the mere 7,000 spoken by men.
There are times when I’ve been told that I’m opinionated. Being the eldest in the family had taught me to navigate through life pretty much independently, and I graduated from law school. One of my favourite TV show is series is an American legal drama series called ‘Suits’ – need I say more?
Admittedly, it can be confusing at times to strike a balance between being a single lady in the legal /corporate world and at the same time internalizing the values of being a woman of Christ exuding graciousness, meekness, gentleness and to certain extent submissiveness in my speech and conduct. No one taught us how to ‘talk or act like a Christian gal’. Not in my Church at least.
The analogy of ‘continual dripping’ and futility of ‘grasping oil in one’s hand’ represents annoyance. The Message Bible used the analogy of a nagging spouse. In a nutshell, the verses speak of a woman who is combative, aggressive, and belligerent while nagging means constantly harassing someone to do something. No one (men or women alike) enjoys the company of a quarrelsome or a nagging person. Whether single or married it is prudent to take heed and reflect so that we could serve others better.
I was reminded by a friend that at times we may win the battle but lose the war. In a situation where conflict arise for instance, the satisfaction of winning an argument because of a minor issue may cause us to say hurtful words and ultimately lose the respect, trust, and closeness with the person i.e. we missed the bigger picture. That does not mean that issues should not be addressed, but rather to tackle it tactfully and choosing the right time to do so.
So, how can we not be women who are ‘quarrelsome’ but women of graciousness, wisdom and dignity? My exhortation to you my fellow sisters in Christ whichever season you are in now (and note to self) would be that we are to continuously and prayerfully strike a balance between being the ‘Jessica Pearson’ or Hillary Clinton in the midst of pursuing our careers versus emulating the example of Ruth, Esther, and Mary (the matriarchs mentioned in the Bible) in relationships. No wonder women are known to be better multi-taskers! 🙂
The apostle Paul taught us in Romans 12:3 “for by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” May the people around us savour the fruits of the words of wisdom from our lips and blessed by the sincerity of our actions. Amen.
Hello, my name is Timmie and I’m from Malaysia. I am a lawyer by profession. I am a charismatic, passionate person and enjoy beautiful things in life such as travelling to different cities to appreciate the culture. I love fashion and appreciate ‘coffee time’ with people to talk about life and build meaningful relationships. I’m passionate about the things of God, the Church and authentic leadership. My deepest desire is to embrace all that God has called me to be and be a blessing to whoever that God has placed in my life past, present and future. Our God is a GREAT God, and the best is yet to come !