Sex: A Work in Progress

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Check out my latest published article, this time back on The Mudroom!

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Scene from a popular television show: Two characters, having previously flirted for several seasons with will-they-or-won’t-they tension, figure out they are sexually attracted to each other. They grab each other, bodies grinding against each other, hands tearing off clothes, mouths practically consuming the other’s face. Cue moaning and grunting. He pushes her up against the file cabinet, and they are off to the races.  

The above is from just one show, but it’s pretty representative of what every TV show, movie, and pop song tells us sex is supposed to be. Passionate. Raw. Intense. Pleasurable. Exciting. Unleashed. Orgasmic.

For years I drank that cultural Kool-aid, all the while being committed to purity until marriage. Sex was something I both desperately wanted yet couldn’t have, like a Christmas present you had to wait to open. My best friend and I would pray against temptation and lustful thoughts, but we did not think to pray that sex with our future husbands would be great. It was a given! Plus, after all these years of celibacy, I was owed great sex, right?

Read more here!

 

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Saying No to Mr. 90% Right

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Check out my latest published article, which is featured on SingleMatters.com, a blog/webzine for single Christians!

One week after Valentine’s Day, I put the final nail into the coffin of a relationship I knew wasn’t going to work: I made our relationship Facebook official.

I met Chris on Match.com. After two years of online dating, I had been on what felt like a million first dates. Mr. Wrong, Mr. Uncommitted, Mr. Finding-Himself – I had met them all. I had passed the 30th birthday mark and was starting to fear that marriage might not happen for me.

Read more here!

Go To Jail

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Taking a short break from our Proverbs study, I just want to share with you an article that I published today in The Mudroom, an online Christian blog/magazine!  

Ten years ago, I sat around a table with a group of six girls, trying to teach them creative writing. We shared poetry, short stories, and personal memoirs. I wasn’t that much older than them, and yet our worlds were oceans apart. For we sat in the library of a local juvenile correctional facility, and those girls were locked in.

Meet Pam. Heavyset with dirty blonde hair, she experienced mental illness and had been bounced from foster home to foster home. She had a substance addiction and nowhere to call home.

Read more here!

Why You Need Trials in Relationships

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Check out my latest post at Boundless.org!

“You need to have an argument.”  This was the advice of my small group leaders to my fiance, Pat, and me soon after our engagement.

I smiled and protested that Pat and I had nothing to argue about.

“You will.”

I nodded and joked with Pat about manufacturing an argument.  But inside, I was convinced the lack of disagreement was proof Pat was the man for me.

Read more here!

When Engagement is Bittersweet

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On New Year’s Day, just past the stroke of midnight, my then-boyfriend, Pat, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, using the ring we had picked out together at a trendy consignment shop. I said “yes,” and committed my life to him.

As a single woman, I had spent many hours praying for a husband — someone good and kind who shared my faith. And within two months of meeting my fiancé, Pat, I knew that I wanted to spend my life with him.

But as happy as I am — the answer to my prayers has come with a bittersweet tinge. Here are three challenges to my identity that have come with getting engaged…

Read more of my blogpost at Boundless.Org by clicking here!

Broaden Your Dating Horizons

young-adult-man

Check out my Boundless blog post!

“My fiancé, Pat, and I weren’t what you would call “perfect for each other” when we first met.

I was looking for an alpha male who would go out to restaurants with me and debate politics and religion, stimulating deep conversations late into the night. Pat, as it turns out, is a quiet guy who goes to bed early, doesn’t go out much, and isn’t so fond of conflict (otherwise known as “discussion”).”

Read more here.

5 Ways to Make Your Dating Profile Stand Out

 

man-online-profile

Check out my new article on Boundless!

“One year ago, I received an online message that would change my life.

Hi! My name’s Pat. I really enjoyed reading a profile that mentions faith and helping others. Both somewhat rare, from what I’ve seen. I’d love to learn more about you, make a new volunteering friend and maybe see it grow into something more. I look forward to hearing from you!

I didn’t know it at the time, but my three years of online dating were about to end. A few sentences in my profile attracted the man who is now my fiancé, and my search for a godly match was over.”

Read more here!