Speak Beauty

eyes-2564517_1920I walked past her at least 5 times. I was trying to catch a glimpse of each limb, each fingernail, each eyelash, each….wait….is that cellulite? I knew it! She has cellulite on her eyelids. I only have cellulite on my thighs like a normal woman. Why would he choose her over me? My cellulite is prettier and a lot less awkwardly placed.

Sounds ridiculous, right?

But before you judge me, remember how familiar it sounds. The last time you were rejected, passed over, made to feel like an option when you used to be a priority. We’ve all done it before. We somehow catch a glimpse of the new girl that we claim took our place and try with all our might to find cellulite in the girl’s eyelids. Her. Eye. Lids.

I know I’m not the only one.

But why do we do this to ourselves? To other women? Why do we elect to see flaws when God has demanded that we see beauty?

And even if that poor girl has cellulite in her eyelids, that’s not the reason we’re not together. There is something he sees in her that God is purposefully hiding in me. And He’s waiting for just the right time to reveal it to whom He sees fit. 

That man’s rejection is not a barometer of my beauty or a weight of my worth. Nor is comparing myself to her a balm for my broken heart, but a seed of bitterness that will destroy the beauty God so carefully mended into each cell of your being before you were even thought of.

How rude. You dismantle something the Creator of the universe molded with his bare hands, flaw after perceived flaw, so that you can find cellulite in other women’s eyelids.

That’s like finger painting over the Mona Lisa or setting fire to the great basilicas of Rome. If you did that, you’d be arrested and probably put to death by firing squad. And those were only made by men. But somehow since it seems as if our criticisms of God’s own handiwork go unnoticed, we feel our tearing apart the work of God’s finger is without consequence.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather face the firing squad than to come face to face with the Master Artist whose work you’ve secretly torn apart out of envy and insecurity.

Want to avoid that fate? I’ve got an idea. Next time the sky is clear, go out and take a look at the stars. Observe how carefully He placed each one and set them in the sky as evidence of His handiwork. 

And despite how beautiful that night canvas can be, it cannot compare to the ones He’s made in His image. Just like there is beauty in each star, there is far more in each of us. Infinitely more.

Choose to see that next time the enemy prompts you to compare. Speak beauty over each flaw, both in yourself and in her. Even the cellulite in her eyelids.

roz Roz

Hey there!  My name is Roz.  I’m a full time working, single, homeschooling mother to the world’s funniest 5 year old on the planet.  I’m an introvert who is obsessed with bacon.  I like to play music extremely loudly in my car and will keep singing at full voice even when you turn to stare.  I also blog occasionally over at mamamannalife.com where I write words about Jesus, homeschooling, and the beauty of imperfections.  I look forward to sharing my imperfections with you, as well.

3 Keys To Being Beautiful

key-74534_1920“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a very familiar quote to me.

I’ve had my share of battles with the meaning of beauty – be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. Growing up, I felt that I was never affirmed of my own ‘beauty’ and the only way I gauged my own beauty (which I equated as self-worth) were by the praises of people around me and attention from boys (you read correctly, boys, not men).

To make the long story of my journey thus far brief – the long battle with the perceived definition of beauty physically was against the media’s standards. We all know that people appearing on TV screens, fashion magazines or billboards mostly have flawless skin, prominent features, perfect body proportion, ideal body weight, and toned abs. I was far from that (still am) and tried various kinds of diets.

To add salt to the wound, the reality of life affirmed the distorted perception with interactions with church guys who would joke about my height – being a petite (under 5 feet) with no consideration whatsoever about how I felt. It didn’t help also when I had to choose corporate attire when most of the sizes are pretty much for the “standard average height”. They thought that their jokes were funny and cute, but far from it. I thought it was disrespectful.

Although I was not obsessed,  the perceived standards set by the media affected me. I was unhappy on the inside and looking back, if I had a better perspective, perhaps I could have been more happy and less hard on myself. It would have been easier also if someone, especially an older women,  had counseled me. Boys at that age are just being idiots and also learning a refining journey. Well, we can’t blame them, can we? My suspicion is that women from the baby boomers generation are battling with the same thing themselves.

To say that I did not compare my physique with other girls/ women around me would be a lie, and I used to blame God for making me ‘this way’. How I thought about myself had affected how I feel in general. I felt that, no matter what I did, I would never ‘measure up’ literally and figuratively. It was very tiring.

However, as time went by, by the grace of God and with great people around, coupled with a few more years of wisdom – I’ve learned that with ‘men’ (i.e., human beings), you will never be enough. But with God, on the very first day, I am already enough. I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

I no longer think that Psalm 139:14 is a Christian cliché anymore because it is a known fact that every single human being on this earth has their own insecurities, physical insecurities included.

The main thing in life is to be the best that you can be whether it is physical (health, fitness and appearance), career goals, relational goals and even spiritual development. We owe it to ourselves to live the best we can because we only have one life to live. I resolve to build a healthy biblical perspective about beauty and intend to pass that on to the next generation.

So, what have I done to improve my quality of life? Basically, I’ve adopted a renewed perspective on body, mind and spirit-man. These are my 3 keys to beauty:

Physically: I made it my goal and discipline to work out as much as I can to improve my fitness and achieve a toned body (note: a toned body, not a skinny body). I would be conscious of the type of food I eat, how it made me feel after that and be mindful of my meal portion. Balance is key.

Mentally: I daily remind myself of my focus to stay fit in order to function better and effectively, and hope to stay in shape (or better) as I grow older. I can confidently testify to you that the only way that a Christian woman can grow in her faith and spirituality is by the reading of God’s word. The best selling book throughout the centuries. Yes, it’s the Bible.

Emotionally: Through many days or night of tears and frustration, the Lord has taught me to appreciate how He had created me and helped me to comprehend with a deep conviction of my identity in Him. With the firmer foundation of my own identity, I am able to respond to those jokes more graciously. Firstly because I no longer need their approval (or the world’s). Secondly, to joke about others is a reflection of the other person.

My dear friends, our physical body will continue to waste away until the day we return home to our Lord Jesus Christ. The Scriptures say that we will be given a new body (1 Corinthians 15:35-55). So why waste so much of our earthly time to focus on something that is not of eternal value?

If you are reading this and you are not a Christian and think that you cannot relate to my statement, perhaps allow me to challenge you to think of living a meaningful joyful life in the long run. Choose positive values and filter messages that place ridiculous standards upon you. Don’t be deceived by ‘power’ of Photoshop!

One last thing that I’d like to encourage us all. When we stop focusing on ourselves but start adding value to others, you will find that beauty is truly skin deep.

timmie-liew Timmie

Hello, my name is Timmie and I’m from Malaysia. I am a lawyer by profession. I am a charismatic, passionate person and enjoy beautiful things in life such as travelling to different cities to appreciate the culture. I love fashion and appreciate ‘coffee time’ with people to talk about life and build meaningful relationships. I’m passionate about the things of God, the Church and authentic leadership. My deepest desire is to embrace all that God has called me to be and be a blessing to whoever that God has placed in my life past, present and future. Our God is a GREAT God, and the best is yet to come !🙂

January/February: I Am Flaws & All


pretty-woman-635258_1920I think it’s safe to say that every woman has something about herself she’d like to change. It would be kind of awesome to have a “Delete” button that would instantly shave off extra pounds or that weird toenail that refuses to grow normally.

If such a button were real, I think Leah would have used it. In Genesis 29, Leah is described as having “weak eyes”, which translates to a homely appearance. To make matters more difficult, her younger sister Rachel was a bombshell and the openly more preferred wife of their husband, Jacob.

And like women today, I’m sure Leah couldn’t avoid comparing herself. Measuring her beauty against Rachel’s. Calculating where she fell short to where her sister triumphed. Pondering how to fix what was broken in order to be loved.

But she wasn’t broken. She wasn’t flawed. What she hated about herself was what God deliberately wanted in her.  He used it to glorify Him and lift her up. When the story of her life is concluded, Leah gave birth to four sons, one of whom is in the lineage of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Be they physical, personality or otherwise, our flaws aren’t accidents of design. They are intentional distinctions from God for you.  You were specifically made to experience life, benefit others, and glorify God in the way He made you. Don’t rush to change. Rush to celebrate.

In January and February, we encourage you to accept and embrace the statement, “I Am Flaws & All.”