Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. – Proverbs 23:17-18
When I looked through my Facebook feed at all the pretty pictures of everyone else’s relationship successes, I didn’t just feel envy. I judged. This girl who just got married – I know she was living in sin with her husband for years before the marriage! Why does that girl get all the cute kids – she doesn’t even go to church!
In contrast, I could look around me and see a dozen beautiful, smart, funny, kind, and wonderful Christian women who were still single into their 40s, still waiting on the Lord. They were doing what was right, holding strong to their beliefs and instead of being rewarded, they were being punished! It just didn’t seem right.
To be honest, I felt like being a Christian put me at a distinct disadvantage. First of all, I knew that I needed to look for a husband who shared my faith – that right there seemed to drastically limit the pool of available men. Second, I wanted to find a man who not just shared my beliefs in word, but also in action. I’ll just ask you – how many single Christian men do you see active in your church? You got it.
Third, in a hookup culture where people talked about having sex not just on the first date, but on no date at all (!), I felt distinctly out of step, old-fashioned, and frankly like a frumpy fuddy-dud to still be a virgin in my 30s. Everyone knows that men want a hot, confident lady who exudes sex appeal and puts out on the third date, right??
The more that I thought about it and analyzed the numbers objectively, the more it seemed that I was just not going to get married because I was following the Lord.
There is no pat solution to this. The fact of the matter is that it IS harder to find a spouse as fewer people are believers. Those single ladies I mentioned above? Most of them are still single.
But our God is a God of impossibilities. Throughout the Old Testament, when by human logic victory seemed impossible, God made it possible. God has the power to make a way where it seems there is no way.
There is hope. Because guess what? I did find the man I was looking for. Jennifer and Keri, other posters on this blog, did find a Christian husband as well. The odds were against us just as much as anyone else, and yet God provided.
What is more, the Bible tells us that the Lord will bless us for the suffering that we endure for His sake. I knew that every time that I made the right decisions to follow the Lord’s will even when it may have seemingly hurt my chances for marriage, God was applauding me. He knew I was putting His will above my own. I believe with all my heart that God will redeem those years of singleness and I believe the same for you.
No matter what, there is surely a future hope for you.