Sigh. I miss the good old days. When we could leave our cell phones, our (un)social media, and our myriad of electronic devices at home without going into a total panic. I mean, we could actually spend an entire day having conversations with actual people and needed to have pocket change if we wanted to engage in non-face-to-face interactions.
But no. Not today. Today we have the opinions of every idiot, smart person, and ‘expert’ being constantly downloaded into our spirit. We pretend as if continuously being fed the opinions and images of others won’t hurt us, but that in itself is a dangerous assumption.
And no one has change. Ever.
It’s no different when it comes to dating. We listen to our hearts, our thoughts, our friends, our family, our Instagram feeds with their #relationshipgoals, Google, our *ahem* baby making organs, and possibly even these blog posts.
Allowing these things to influence my decisions in the past (and also the present) has only crowded out God’s best for me. And possibly yours too. So here’s a list of the top five things I’ve lended an ear to that I think it’s time we give the boot. A “Don’t Do This” sort of list, if you will:
1) Don’t listen to your feelings. Your feelings are about as truthful and trustworthy as a 2-star rated Uber driver with no seat belts. Would you climb into that car? Then don’t you dare ride your feelings into a relationship without the peace of the holy spirit.
2) Don’t listen your heart. This may seem counterintuitive. The world is constantly telling you to listen to your heart. Follow your heart. But the word tells us that the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick (Jeremiah 17:9). Ouch. And your Father made your heart, so he understands everything you do (Psalm 33:15). When our hearts are full, we can sometimes act without thinking. Rash things are bad and prickly on your body, and also on the heart. Don’t scratch that itch.
3) Don’t listen to your thoughts. Your thoughts tell you you’ll be single forever. Your thoughts tell you you’re lonely. Your thoughts give you ideas about how to manipulate your way down the aisle. Your thoughts open the heart to lies and the whispers from the enemy. Let’s not live our life based on only what we think of ourselves, but what our Father thinks of us instead. We are loved. We are desired. And we are constantly being pursued.
4) Don’t listen to your sex drive. I feel like this one is pretty self explanatory. But just in case it needs further clarification, pre-marital sex clouds your judgement. It causes you to stay in relationships longer than you should. It makes babies. It causes you to start relationships that should’ve stayed in the mud because you have a “connection.” Honey, that “connection” is a soul tie and it will drag you, chained and bound, all the way to a broken heart. For further reflection on lusty things, reference #2.
5) Don’t listen to everything you read on the interwebs. You do realize that anybody can have a webpage, right? And everything we read is filtered through someone else’s life experiences and biases and made to look perfect for their benefit. Not for His glory. I even expect you to scripture check and comment below if you feel like this post gets your spirit of discernment all in a tizzy. Just make sure that discernment is still on guard when scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, or following the links to the latest “how to keep your man” advice from Cosmo.
But what if we truly listened to the guidance of the holy spirit? When Christ physically left this earth, he did not leave us to fend for ourselves. But for some reason, most of us are flailing about our single life (and married life) as if the Advocate’s voice doesn’t exist.
We end our prayers acknowledging the trinity, but live and behave as if God is a duo. Or worse yet, a solo act. And those thoughts only succeed at making God small, shortening his reach to the clouds above, and limiting his kingdom to heaven.
From what I remember, we are called to bring his kingdom down to earth. Through how we love, how we live our life as a single person, and how we display the agape love of Christ in our marriages. And you can’t do that without making space for the holy spirit in every single second of your day. Every single one.
So step into your purpose as a single as if your confidence, beauty, and marital status were in the hands of a loving Father. Receive the grace and forgiveness for your past mistakes as if Jesus, the Son, actually died for them. And continue to make room for the gentle whispers (and sometimes hard face punches) of the holy spirit as if he actually exists.
“But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor, Counselor, Strengthener, Standby) will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him (the Holy Spirit) to you [to be in close fellowship with you]…But when He, the Spirit of Truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth [full and complete truth].”
John 16:7, 13 (AMP….emphasis mine)
Hey there! My name is Roz. I’m a full time working, single, homeschooling mother to the world’s funniest 5 year old on the planet. I’m an introvert who is obsessed with bacon. I like to play music extremely loudly in my car and will keep singing at full voice even when you turn to stare. I also blog occasionally over at beautyfullyflawedblog.wordpress.com where I write words about Jesus, homeschooling, and the beauty of imperfections. I look forward to sharing my imperfections with you, as well.