Meet Calvin and Jennifer! I am very happy to say that Jennifer is our very first online contributor, generously sharing her story to encourage other single women!! She is also a fellow online dater and you can check out her blog at beautyisaproject.com. I love her story and I know you will too – check it out!
I had been on eHarmony off and on for about 2 years. But I started approaching the site and dating in general differently after reading, “How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back” by Henry Cloud. I started reading the book in April 2014 and met my fiancé, Calvin, online in June 2014. So I guess I won’t be getting a refund 🙂 We had a long distance relationship for the entirety of our dating season. I resided in Maryland while Calvin lived in Arizona. Every few months, we’d take turns visiting each other. In between visits, we talked, prayed and laughed together during hours (I mean, seeing the starry night bleed into a golden sunrise hours) long phone/video conversations. We also sent each other surprise packages and cards to ease the discomfort of our distance. Last May, Calvin decided to send me the biggest surprise package: himself. He flew clandestinely to Maryland and was standing at my door, bouquet of flowers in hand, when I arrived home from work. I was absolutely stunned to see him. And when he got down on his knee to propose a few minutes later, my shock escalated to pure joy. Joy will join with happiness and smiles when we marry in June.
Age at Marriage
What was your biggest struggle as a single person, and what helped you overcome it?
I struggled a lot with comparison. In my twenties, a dating and marriage crescendo began in my group of friends. And I remained the perpetually single one. That made me wonder, examine, and measure myself constantly. Trusting in God definitely changed that. I realized that if I’m living and seeking His will for my life, then I am not defective. Rather, His story and timing for me will be different.
What were the top five qualities that you were looking for in a husband? Now that you are married, do you still think that those are the most important qualities to find in a mate?
The top 5 qualities I desired in a husband were a strong relationship with God, a kind heart, an easygoing personality, confidence, and humor. I think the last four can be exchanged for other equally important qualities like adoration for vanilla cupcakes with sprinkles or knowledge of every line to the movie, “Coming To America” :-). But a constant relationship with Jesus is immovable as the essential.
How did you know he was the right man to marry?
I was very used to my dances with romance fizzling out quickly. But in the infant stages of my relationship with Calvin, I began to see that this wasn’t going to be a fizzle. While seeking God about our relationship, He gave me peace. And the more time Calvin and I spent together, I saw more of his heart, his faith, his honesty and his sincerity.
Looking back, what did God develop in you during your time of singleness that has blessed you in marriage?
I’m not sure what experiences I had while single will benefit me during marriage. But one I hope will benefit is the ability to discern perspectives. Everyone sees a situation, a person, or a story differently. That doesn’t make them wrong or myself right.
What advice would you give to ladies who are single later in life?
My advice for singles later in life can be boiled down to these three points: -Thoroughly enjoy this season of life. -Your story is written with God’s plan for you in mind. -Continue to trust God, His heart, and His timing.