Everyone I know on earth: “So. How’s it going? Are you dating anyone?”
Still single me: Sigh….”No, I’m not dating anyone at the moment. Yes, I’m still single. No, there are not prospects in the foreseeable future or the requisite 15 mile radius. And, yes, I’m fine.”
Me: “No, really. I’m happy and content on most days with being single. Why? Do you know someone?”
Them: “Oh, goodness no. You don’t want to date any of my friends! They’re so (fill in the blank with some incredibly strange or terrible character flaw)!”
Me thinking inwardly to myself: Why do you have friends like that?
Does this conversation sound familiar? I know I’m not the only one who feels like I’m constantly defending my singleness on a daily basis.
And often when we look at this time in our lives, especially when you’re over 30 like me, people tend to lean more towards the negative side of the spectrum. Towards the absence of something. As if the lack of a spouse is a curse that needs to be reversed before the clock strikes 24 years of age. Or worse, that God is withholding the blessing of marriage from us because of some unconfessed sin or the assumption our puny faith needs some pumping up.
Unfortunately, we take that stance as well. That we’re missing something. Incomplete. Not yet worthy of the love and affection of another human. Particularly a human who is male with rippling muscles, always smells like Christmas and ambition, opens doors, lays his jacket down over puddles for us to walk over, and picks up the tab on first dates without that awkward moment after the check arrives.
I’m not asking too much, am I?
Either way, while everyone else is viewing our situation as the glass being half empty, there’s always an alternative. And from what I’ve experienced, seen, and heard, there are much worse things than being single.
Yes, there are worse things than the solo Netflix and Chill.
You could be dating that guy you met the other day who was hiding behind a smile and false chivalry. Only to find out 3 months later that he was actually a jerk who has no intention of ‘waiting’ or holding you in any higher esteem than Dana, Jessica, Tasha, Lauren, or any other breathing female.
You could have wasted 6 months of your life in a ‘text-lationship’ with that guy who sort of likes you but never really made a move to ask you out on a date. Meanwhile, you’re holding strategy sessions with your friends to decipher his texts of “hi” or “what are u doing” with a winky face to determine what they really mean. Because everyone knows that emoji was a sign of his undying love for you that he’s just too scared to reveal directly.
You could be with that nice guy who has a check mark next to most things on your list for years. While inwardly feeling that sinking, gnawing reality of settling because you’re tired of waiting for God’s best.
But, at this moment in your life, you are worth being single. You are worth resisting the temptation to fall into situation-ships as a result of your fleeting feelings of boredom and loneliness. And you are worth being hidden by a God who knows your value. And trust that He intimately knows the man who will see that value without being told or convinced.
So don’t lose hope because there are no prospects in the requisite 15 mile radius. You’re worth the waiting you have to endure to enjoy God’s perfect love and will for your life. It may be painful in the interim, but the process of growing closer to Him and getting closer to what He has for you is unrivaled in possibility.
And not just the possibility of marriage and being found by someone to share your life with. But the possibility that He is saving you from the extreme heartache and time wasted trying to do life on your own.
“You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah.” Psalm 32:7
“Keep me as the apple of the eye; Hide me in the shadow of Your wings.” Psalm 17:8
Hey there! My name is Roz. I’m a full time working, single, homeschooling mother to the world’s funniest 5 year old on the planet. I’m an introvert who is obsessed with bacon. I like to play music extremely loudly in my car and will keep singing at full voice even when you turn to stare. I also blog occasionally over at beautyfullyflawed.com where I write words about Jesus, homeschooling, and the beauty of imperfections. I look forward to sharing my imperfections with you, as well.