I Want You to Want Me

I enjoy observing children while interacting with their parents. I observed that the girls would tend to be more clingy and chatty. The girls also have the natural propensity in admiring outfits, bags, accessories and make-up, etc. The various times I interacted with these little girls, their inquisitiveness delights me. It is no surprise that the girls would try to emulate what they have observed in dressing up like the adult and seek approval from friends and family around them to tell them that they look beautiful.

The girls constantly seek for approval while the boys would seek for the next activity or games to play or places to run around and explore. The contrast here is that the attention focus by the girls is more internal (and nurturing) while for the boys is more external (outburst of energy). The observation (of the girls) reminded me of the story of Adam and Eve after the fall in Genesis 3:16 when God said to her that “…your desire shall be for your husband…” I recall the times during my teenage years and in college when I would spend a lot of time and much of my pocket money to dress up in a certain manner to attract attention. Looking back (thanks to some of the pictures I still keep), I wondered what on earth was I thinking wearing some outfits I had chosen and the hairdos.

I’m of the view that the desire to be wanted is not a bad thing because it is part of our human nature and I can say in general that this desire may be stronger in women than in men. However, it is who we want acceptance from or wanted to be wanted is an issue that is worth reflecting.

Those high school and college years taught me that I could never please everyone and have my desire to be wanted fulfilled because even so, it was only temporary. There’s only so much I can do to ‘attract attention’ because there will be someone else who is ‘more attractive’, ‘commanding more attention’ that would make me feel ‘unwanted’.

Our desire to feel wanted will not disappear nor will it diminish. Just observe the trend of reality TV such as The Bachelor (22 seasons and counting!), and yes, I am not ashamed to admit that I enjoy watching the show. One common trait that I find in all of us is the longing for total acceptance, unconditional love, understanding, forgiveness, and undivided attention, despite our past, what we’ve done or what has been done to us.

I’d like to end with a statement made by a well-known apologist Dr. Ravi Zacharias that sums the mystery of our ‘longing hearts’ pretty well:

“There are at least four such longings (of the human heart). The hunger for truth, as lies proliferate. The hunger for love, as we see hate ruling the day. The hunger for justice, as we see injustice mocking the law. The hunger for forgiveness, when we ourselves fail and stumble. These four stirrings grip the soul. As I see it, there is only one place in the world where these four hungers converge. That is at the cross.”

With that, I firmly believe that as women, our longings to be desired could only be met in knowing how much God loves us and that He has always loved us. – in the person of Jesus Christ. Once we grasp this fact, the comprehension of His love surpasses our desire to solicit acceptance from other sources because our love tank has already been filled to the brim.

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 Timmie

Hello, my name is Timmie and I’m from Malaysia. I am a lawyer by profession. I am a charismatic, passionate person and enjoy beautiful things in life such as travelling to different cities to appreciate the culture. I love fashion and appreciate ‘coffee time’ with people to talk about life and build meaningful relationships. I’m passionate about the things of God, the Church and authentic leadership. My deepest desire is to embrace all that God has called me to be and be a blessing to whoever that God has placed in my life past, present and future. Our God is a GREAT God, and the best is yet to come !🙂

March/April: I Am Most Wanted

So the whispers were true.

The fifth grade boys had allegedly ranked all the girls and listed each girl’s score on a sheet of composition paper. As is the way of 10-year-olds, secrets are never kept and soon, the list’s existence became the talk of the playground.  I giggled about it with my friends but I never let on about my deep concern. Was I pretty enough to be on the list? What was my score?

One afternoon, I found myself next to the spokesboy of this ranking committee. He hunched over the list while giving me side eyes of mischief and glee. It was then I decided that it was now or never. I snatched the list and won the precipitating vigorous tug of war. I skimmed the rudimentary chart to find my name and my score.  And there it was, in gray penciled certitude. My score was a 2.

I crushed the paper as hard I could, squashing into a ball. The subsequent outcry of my male classmates fell on my deaf and hurt ears.  The list was destroyed and so was my hope that I was wanted.

Feeling unwanted hurts, especially in seasons of singleness. It can feel like an incurable disease, endless, painful, and lonely. That’s why it’s wonderful to remember the truth of the matter. You are wanted. You are needed. You are sought after. Most of all, you are desired.

In Luke 15:4-6, Jesus says,

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’”

In fact, it takes the entire chapter of Luke 15 to explain how the Father seeks after His loved ones, us. You don’t look for something that’s worthless. A dropped penny means nothing to me. But a missing $100 bill will cause me to retrace steps, look under rocks, and turn my home upside down. That is how much Jesus wants you.

This March and April, remember, rediscover, and recognize that you are most wanted.

Most Wanted Verse: Week 1